You Know You're Obsessed With Twilight If
by mm zayland
Summary: First FanFic! Are you truly obsessed with Twilight? See how many "if's" you admit to. I tried to make these original and creative, and they are almost all from personal experience. Enjoy! *Updated* I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.


When someone says "newborns", you think of red-eyed, uncontrollable vampires, not babies.

Your friends and family are convinced you read TOO much.

Nothing gets you fired up more than debating Team Edward versus Team Jacob.

Twilight has forever changed your view of vampires and werewolves. You are convinced that all other fictional accounts are wrong, and vampires do NOT have fangs and coffins, and werewolves do NOT need a full moon to phase.

You squeal and add to your "recruits" tally when you find out someone took your suggestion to read the series or see the movie.

You look for signs you might be a vampire, like when your skin feels abnormally cold or the hair on your arm shines and sparkles in the sun.

You knew all the names of all the cast members before Twilight the movie came out.

You feel like you might cry when you find out that your parents almost bought a Volvo a month before you read Twilight.

People on the bus know you as the girl who reads a lot, but you don't mind. You enjoy the recognition.

You want your mom to read Twilight, but area afraid to let her read Breaking Dawn in case it gets awkward.

You hold grudges against people who say vampires are dumb, purely fictional, or just a passing trend.

To you, vampires and werewolves are real, but that doesn't mean other mythical creatures, like elves, zombies, or unicorns are real as well.

You get mad if someone returns your book in less than perfect condition.

You have days of miserable "Twilight withdrawal".

You refer to Edward as your boyfriend or your future husband.

You think about highlighting your favorite lines, but decide it would be blasphemy to write in any of your books.

You cringe when you have to fold a corner to save your place in the book.

You are oblivious to the person yelling your name in your ear while you're reading.

When you see or hear the Twilight movie trailer, you squeal and/or scream, run to the spot a foot away from the TV, and get rug burn on your knees from flinging yourself down on the ground so many times.

You literally cried when Edward left in New Moon, and laughed out loud in joy when he came back and explained himself.

You imagined yourself punching Jacob when Bella tried to in Eclipse, and later wished Edward _would_ have broken his jaw for you.

You've expanded your music collection thanks to Stephenie Meyer's playlists.

You've added "plays piano" to your description of the perfect guy.

The next book series you read is about vampires, as well.

You like sci fi now that you know it's not dorky, thanks to the Stephenie's very non-dorky writing skills.

You have internal debates on which of the Cullens is the most amazing, though you usually settle on Edward.

You get aggravated when people read slowly and ask what happens in late books, and you just tell them that if they would read faster, they would have figured it out by now.

At first, the newly released Twilight dolls freaked you out, but now you just think they might be cool to have.

You love B & E together, but secretly hope Edward comes to his senses and finds that he loves you and wishes to change you into a vampire.

You are jealous of anyone who has a Twilight name.

Your family and friends know all about Twilight without actually reading it.

You sometimes freak yourself out about how obsessed you are, but decide it doesn't matter and continue in your obsessive ways.

You forced your sisters to see Twilight in theaters with you on November 21st, just so they would read it and you could prove how amazing it is.

You assembled a group and dressed in Twilight garb to see the premiere.

You felt like crying when your parents wouldn't let you see the midnight premiere of Twilight because "it was a school night". And then you were jealous of all the girls who were missing from school that day because they had got to go the night before.

You get excited at the smallest mention of Twilight and try to get into someone else's conversations just to talk about it.

You own at least five Twilight-related items (shirts, pins, posters, bookmarks, etc).

You can list your top 5 favorite characters off the top of your head, without any real thought.

The thing you want the most as a Christmas present is the Special Edition of Twilight, and if you don't get it, you'll buy it December 26th.

You're annoyed when you have to explain to people why you're rereading one of the books.

You're proud of yourself when you find things you never noticed before when rereading one of the books in the series.

You are thrilled when you remember extra long quotes, but not necessarily suprised.

Someone asks you what Twilight is and people groan because they know you're about to go into hours of animated conversation.

You slip in hateful, anti-Jacob comments to your Team Jacob or Team Switzerland friend into normal conversation, just to annoy her.

You and your friends started yelling at each other over whether they had cast Twilight well enough.

Your passwords, usernames, icons, backgrounds, and avatars all are Twilight-related.

When you see a lion or a lamb, you think of Bella and Edward.

You refer to RPattz's hair as THE BEAST.

You manage to make a connection to Twilight or use a quote in every conversation you have, no matter who you're talking to.

You dream of killing Bella so Edward can marry you.

You now embrace rainy days, or as you've come to call them, Edward Days.

You think it's cool that the brand of mints you have in your bag are "Eclipse", or that the brand of ice cream you bought is called "Denali".

When a group of little kids comes to your door in traditional vampire costumes at Halloween, you only give them a half a piece of candy. When they complain, you say, "Sparkle in the sun and I might think about giving you a whole piece. Heck, prove that you're a real vampire and i'll take it back so you don't have to pretend to eat it."

When you reread one of the books, you're are anxious to see what happens next, even though you've read it many times before and could tell the story by heart.

You really really want to go to Forks and take a picture at all the landmarks (i.e. the replica of Bella's Chevy truck or Forks High School).

You didn't like the names Edward, Charlie, Carlisle, Emmett, or Jasper until you read Twilight. Now you'll consider naming your kids after them.

You unintentionally stay up until 3:00 AM on a school night reading Twilight, and get in trouble for falling asleep in class. Still, you think it was worth it.

You start hyperventilating when Edward says something sweet or romantic to Bella, because you like to think he's speaking to you.

You either knew that there were such places as Carlisle, PA, Rosalie, NE, and Cullen, VA and wanted to visit them, or you just squealed in delight and ran to find a map to see for yourself.

As much as you want to, you refuse to skip the Edward-less part of New Moon, in case you miss something although you've already read it.

No amount of logic can convince you that vampires or werewolves are not real.

You've memorized the chapter titles of Twilight and could tell someone exactly what goes on in each section.

You were content for 20 minutes after finishing Breaking Dawn, but then became miserable when you realized that you had just finished reading the last great book and had nothing else good to read.

You read one of the books in class, even when you could be socializing, and don't care if people think you're a nerd because of it.

You've realized that you're unhealthily obsessed, but can't bring yourself to care enough to do anything about it.

Your dad is able to have conversations about Twilight, even though he's never read it, and gets all his information from what you've said.

You decide that a person is worth talking to once you've seen them with one of the books.


End file.
